Meet Nameless

We recently adopted a kitten.  Even though it came, via craigslist, from someone's home, I claim it as a "rescue" cat because you should have seen the home .... and the people inside.  Yikes.  How can anyone live like that??  Come on, people!  Open a window!  Vacuum!  Turn off your video games and find the cleanser.  And the disinfectant.  And the air freshener.

They were also selling puppies, which were shut in a back room.  I asked what kind of puppies.

"Pits" he drawled.  

Hmmmmm.

Anyway, it's six weeks old and after nearly a week, it rules the house.  I live with two alpha-males who turn into complete goobers when this little two-and-a-half-pound fur-ball climbs onto their lap and begins to purr.  And I'm no more than a heap of mush either.  Kittens do that to perfectly rational people.

So here's the problem.  We cannot settle on a name.  And it's getting ridiculous.  I actually have an impressive record for naming pets.  In addition to our own, I claim credit for coming up with the winning name for several pets of various friends over the years. 

I reluctantly admit I even think up pet names for non-existent pets.  But all my favorite cat names were female, and this one is a boy.  

I really like Roscoe, after a garter snake that lived in my uncle's woodpile when I was a kid.  I also like Malcolm, Ira, Keifer, Murray, Walter, and a dozen others that I can't recall, which all got luke-warm reviews by those whose opinions I value.  The two alpha-males in my house both got excited when one suggested Doc Holiday.  As for me, having never seen the movie, "Tombstone" wherein that character was portrayed as "the coolest guy EVER" ..... I'm just not feeling it.  Hence I have been on every cat-naming website there is.  

Favorite Daughter, who also obsesses on names, texted suggestions to me every ten minutes the first day.  Wally, Kip, Sheldon, Stewart, Darwin, and her favorite, Reggie.  Our granddaughter immediately named it Cranky, sight unseen.  

We finally landed on Calvin Coolidge, named for a fiscally responsible president who gets little credit for actually cutting government spending while he was in office.  It seemed like a worthy tribute since any cat in this house must be a Republican, or at least a Libertarian.  But after a day, it just felt weird calling him Calvin.  Then how about Hobbes?  Nah.  

Following the political theme, we considered Fillibuster or Pundit.  Hmmmm.  Or The Gipper.  

Jack Bauer was kicked about for a while, but only figuratively .... because no one actually messes with JB.  We also hit a chord with Crazy Eddie Muldoon, from our favorite Patrick McManus books.  But I'm just not sure about calling it Eddie.  The we tried on Mr. Bean.  No, no, and no.

On my morning run of course I was still thinking about it.  Maybe Al-CATraz, because of his gray-ish and black stripes and he has been sentenced to life inside our house.  Then I ventured into Biblical names and came up with Nimrod (which actually means 'mighty hunter') and Malachi.  Then during my shower, Hodge seemed logical ..... for which I have no explanation.  

And there we are.  Every name sounds good until I use it to address the actual cat and then it just sounds silly.  Maybe he will just be Cat.  Or ... (heavens, no) ... Kitty ..... which, frankly, is what he is called 90% of the time.  

I am open for suggestions.   Please don't bother with the all-too-common cat names like Max, Tiger, Lucky, Simba, Buddy, Felix, Oscar, etc. ......  And anything even remotely akin to Fluffy or Puff Ball is totally banned.

Update:  I have made an executive decision.  His name is ..... Beamer .... and even though one has occupied our garage for years, he probably will never ride in it.

There.  Done!

Or ......


UPDATE!  It's nine months later and he is a fat, 13+ lb. lovable nuisance named Jack.  As in Jack the Ripper, Jumping Jack, and Jack in the (litter) box.  And even at this point, I'm still tempted to change the name to something more interesting.