Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Hoka What-What??

I have new shoes.  They aren't Adidas, Mizunos, Nikes, or any other of those impressively macho brand names.  They are Hoka One Ones.  There MUST be a story to that name, but I don't have a clue.  In several years of Runner's World magazine, I've never seen them mentioned.

Favorite First DIL (daughter-in-law, for those of you who have yet to enter the world of communicating in initials) first mentioned these shoes, which she learned about from someone in her town "who knows".  Google helpfully produced a picture and I was intrigued.  They looked cushy.  I LOVE cushy.  None of that minimalist stuff for me.  I'd strap pillows under my feet if they didn't create drag.  But the nearest dealer was in Renton, Washington, a good three or more hours away.

So weeks later, on a trip north to Seattle, Patient Husband kindly detoured us through Renton.  Just to try a pair on.  That way I could know if I like them and check sizes in case I decide to order a pair online.  I really didn't intend to buy anything.  Husband dropped me off and left to check out a nearby electronics store.  Well, they had a few pairs on sale -- last season's I guess .... in what I thought was my size.  What else can you do, when they are reduced $65?  I bought the shoes.

When Husband saw them, he subtly and discreetly noted their gargantuan size.

"They're HUGE!!" he blurted.

Hmmm ..... well, yes ...... he was right.  But they're size 10 and my old Asics were 10.5.  At this point, my Inner Vanity now demands that we're all perfectly clear that I don't have big feet.  I'm willing to repeat that if necessary.  In other shoes, I wear 8.5, a size so normal it's boring ..... but over the years, having destroyed more toenails than I can count, my running shoe size has grown.  And Hoka One Ones seem to run large anyway, in addition to being quite wide and boxy.  So it is descriptively accurate to say that I now run in ......

clown shoes.

CUSHY clown shoes.   I can run over rocks and hardly feel them.  They ALMOST rank the AWE factor of my Tempur-Pedic mattress ...... almost.  (And not much in this world compares to my bed.)

So look out Fashion Police.  Go ahead and laugh.  I don't care ..... much ..... well, except that same Inner Vanity is now threatening to revolt.  But at least my feet are happy and my toenails may survive the year.


P.S.  For Susette, since she asked.

Considering the state of my hair this morning, this is all you get in this shot.

Update!  I have since learned that they are pronounced Hoka Onay Onay.  It's from the Maori language, and means "Time to fly"!  Gotta love that!