It's not the event. It's the training.

Ironman-Friend Mark, who has done 10 of those mind-boggling events all over the world, said, (paraphrasing) "The amazing thing isn't that I DID 10 Ironmans, but that I TRAINED for 10 Ironmans."
A regimen building up to twenty-plus hours of training per week takes a kind of discipline that very few can muster up from his/her soul.
Fellow Ironman-Friend Ty, concurred.  (Again paraphrasing) "It isn't the race we are so concerned with, it's whether or not we have the time, energy, and perseverance needed for all those months of hard work, to prepare for it."  (I don't remember how he really said it, but you get the point.)  Add to that, the sacrifice of whatever else one should, or want to do with all those hours and days.

With less than a month until MY big day, I'm contemplating the past five months of my own training program.  Actually, as Patient Husband pointed out, it hasn't been very different from my pre-marathon-training days, other than the regular and increasingly long runs.  And a lot more hill running.  And more stress.  And fear.

Since I started running over 2.5 years ago, my weekly quota was 20 - 24 miles.  But now with the exception of the Long Run Weeks, I usually do less.  My chosen trainer advocates more rest days, a concept I happily latched onto, then hitting it hard on the running days, which I sometimes do ..... or at least TRY to do ... sometimes ....  Has it been enough?  I don't know.  I hope so.

This week is FRP/BD's (Favorite Running Partner/Beloved Daughter) and my last long training run.
"You've got this." wrote Comforting-Friend Rachael, who recently ran in the legendary Boston Marathon.  And you know, I think she's right.  I can do it.  That realization came after our 18 miler.  And after we did 20.  And after we did 22.   As Supportive Husband said, "The marathon is the graduation of all the months of hard work".

I'm not afraid of failure.  But I AM afraid of the pre-run-jitters.  I AM afraid of those last six miles and the gut-wrenching GRIT to get to the finish line.  I AM afraid of those things over which I have no control ... like the weather ...  or leg cramps ... or just circumstances ... you know, the glitches.

And I'm STILL afraid I'll sign up for another one.