My excuse, AKA .... the battle of the bulge

I have a theory which is bordering on fact, as far as I'm concerned.  It is:

Relatively few of the people whom we would describe as thin, must really work to stay thin.  Meaning.... these few stay thin by exercising obsessively and denying their hunger hour after hour, day after day.   Whereas, according to my theory, the majority of thin people stay thin because they naturally can't eat a lot of food, for one reason or another.  This is evidenced by comments they make, such as ....

"If I eat a big lunch, I can't eat dinner."

"Three small plates of sushi, and I'm stuffed."

"I'm never hungry for breakfast."

"I can't handle a lot of sweets."

"If I eat that I'll get sick."

"I forgot to eat lunch."

I am NOT one of these people because I don't believe I have ever uttered one of the above statements....  Ever.  Except when I have a stomach flu which, for me, is rare to nonexistent.  (And on that note, I don't recall ever getting food poisoning, although I have eaten along side of someone who did.)  I have been, for limited periods of my adult life, one of the minority of thin people who can keep up the pace and food-denial for a while.  But only for a while.

For me, dinner is a whole 4 - 5 hours after lunch and by then, lunch is a distant memory, having long ago exited the stomach, leaving an empty, ravenous cavern.  I can easily down six small plates of sushi, if I let myself.  I wake up most mornings starved.  Sweets are my drug of choice.   Food never makes me sick.  And forgetting to eat is like saying I forgot to go to the bathroom....or I forgot to wake up this morning....or I forgot to breathe.

The naturally thin people can work next to a dish of candy and not be so distracted by it that work is impossible.  If I was a bank teller, that little dish of lollipops or mints meant for the customers, would have to go far away.

I could eat almost all day long.  I could down a half dozen donuts and be left with soaring guilt....but my stomach would be fine.  I can polish off a Subway footlong in one sitting.  Once, when I was at college, my roommates were all gone for the weekend and it happened to be my birthday.  A kind person brought me a cake and by Sunday night, when the roommates returned, it was gone.  I had eaten the entire thing by myself in two days, granted it was probably the only thing I ate.  It was chocolate..... need I say more?  Fortunately I was barely out of my teens ..... back when I THOUGHT I was fat, but was a size I would LOVE to be now.

Often, when dining with the Husband, I have to keep tabs on my self-respect and perceived femininity (big eye-roll) by not out-eating him..... because I easily can.   Many evenings he returns home from work and tells me how little he has eaten that day (usually because he got busy and forgot) thinking he deserves sympathy.  As if.  He might as well be boasting about how he climbed Mt. McKinley that day and I didn't.  Because I, on the other hand, have been at home most of the day, where there is a kitchen containing food that calls to me constantly.

So there you are.  I am NOT one of those people who naturally eat less.  If I let down my guard and eat comfortably, I will get fat.  And from the looks of things, I'm not alone here.  Staying thin is a constant daily battle of exercise, denial, and hunger.... a battle too easily lost.  And for me, the enemy grows more fierce and gains more ground each year.  That's reality and it stinks.  And don't give me that nonsense about filling up on low cal foods.  Eating an apple or a carrot only leaves me hungrier.  My stomach feels much better (and quieter) after a milkshake than after broccoli.

If you are one of those lucky thin people whom everyone envies, don't judge.  We are working very hard at this.  We deal with a lot of guilt and conflict.  My appetite doesn't settle for one brownie, it demands four and we (my appetite and I) argue endlessly.

So as I head out, yet again, to do some hill work, just know I'm probably exercising more than most. And until SOMEBODY gets their act together and invents some good-tasting, calorie-free ice cream, these extra 10-20 pounds are most likely here to stay.