Break out the campaign buttons!

In the World of the Ridiculous, let's say there exists a country of runners with sole voting power, and to add MORE of the ridiculous, let's say I was "running" (no pun intended) for president of said country.  What "dirt" would my opposition uncover as they attempted to smear my name in the campaign?

My first guess would be that they'd find nothing shady in my past.  No criminal record, no illicit affairs with other sports, no scandals whatsoever.  In fact my past is so boring that simply BEING boring might be my biggest hurdle.  But digging deeper, there is one skeleton in my closet.  A skeleton so unspeakable, that it might cost me the election ....

....... I used to hate running.  And I told people I hated running, hence ..... there are witnesses.  I tried running a few times over the years and outwardly rejected it.   Yes.  It's true.  I am a flip-flopper.   Therefore, my campaign strategy is to "out" myself right up front, and deal with the fallout.  Transparency through and through.  After all, it's seldom the crime alone that brings you down, it's often the coverup.

My inconsistent history may cast doubt onto whether or not I am a true runner.  Do I espouse the love of the Daily Run?  Am I sincerely out there braving the pavement regardless of rain, blisters, spandex, and looking dangerously close to being a frizzy, schlepping .... frump?  Or am I running with my finger in the wind ... feigning devotion for my Asics?

I say YES!  A person CAN change!  We, as human beings, can evolve, grow, and become BETTER.  In fact, if one fails to change, when presented with new information and experience that teaches one that there is a point of view that might be a step above one's previous opinion, then SHAME on .... one.  Thus I, as a fictional candidate for the office of President of the United States of Runners, have decided to wear my flip-flopping proudly.  I used to be .... (fill in the blank) ... but not anymore.  I have learned.  I have grown ... (NOT in the waistline!  No!  Yikes!!) ... but in spirit, endurance, and in my own delusion that I don't look THAT bad out there.

So VOTE for ME!  If I win, I promise health, prosperity, and free GUs for all!!