Remember the Christmas ice/snow storm of '08?

I do.  All our kids and their kids were here, and the house was full.  In addition to all the bodies, we were up to our ears in fudge, toffee, my killer home-made rolls, egg nog, and all the trappings of the Silly Season.


Silly Season?  Yes, Thanksgiving through Christmas.  Not in the sense of their true meanings, but in the sense of all the well-meant attempts to sabotage my weight.  The contraband that my adored friends and fam bring to my door.  And I love them for that!  So keep bringing it!  However, in '08 I had just reached my goal weight and was absolutely TERRIFIED I'd gain it right back as had always happened before.


This is a common phenomenon among the weight loss crowd in my circle.  One woman I met said it took 9 years before she got over that fear.   Another recent at-goal-weight-loser came to me semi-freaked out, "I ate TOO much at the restaurant last night and this morning the scales DIDN'T GO UP!  EXPLAIN THAT TO ME!"  She wasn't pleased that the scales hadn't gone up, rather that this whole thing was behaving illogically and therefore, was totally unpredictable and out of her control!!!  I assured her that she's going through a common WW phase and just needed to stick with her maintenance program and all will be well.


So my own Freak-Out came during Christmas of '08.  Surrounded by calories that I couldn't keep out of my mouth and worst of all, snowed in and UNABLE TO RUN OUTSIDE.


Running is my form of purging.  Not pretty to say, but true. Some people deal with bulimia.  I run.  So Christmas night that year, at midnight, I was doing a frantic sprint on my treadmill.  Purging.  Treadmills = desperation.  I HATE running indoors.  Since this post is getting to be longer than intended, I'll talk about that later.


I've learned WHY I run.  The fun and challenge are all wonderful benefits, but not the reason.  I run because those 23 lbs. literally chase me down the street.  My brain is convinced that the very day I stop running, I will gain weight.  And I think my brain is onto something.  So every week that I run, is a week I will not get fat.  I may get fat next week, but not this week -- because I ran this week.  Running literally helps me feel safe.  If I don't run, I am AT RISK.   Christmas of '08, Risk was everywhere.  I was snowed in with Risk, and couldn't escape.  The fudge, the weather, the season, were engulfing me in Risk.


Fortunately time heals.  Now I know if a few pounds creep on, I can get them off.  If I can't run today or tomorrow, I can run the next day and I'll be safe again.  No more freak-outs.  So keep the cookies coming.  I can handle it ....... unless it snows .....